We all live our lives, but for some reason, some live very interestingly and well, while others, with the same resources, for some reason, do not succeed. If you notice that you are achieving less than you would like, it’s time to go through your habits: perhaps among them, there are those lying around that sabotage all your progress. On procrastination day, we discuss the worst habits that turn your life into a real quagmire. And, of course, we advise how to get rid of them!
Afraid to ask for help
“If you want to do something well, do it yourself,” I thought, and added: “If you want to go to psychiatry by the age of thirty.”
Some people simply cannot and do not want to, or are afraid to ask for help or delegate their tasks to those who can help with them. Such people, apparently, imagine themselves as killer cyborg, who is made of iron and will pull everything out.
But I’ll tell you a little secret: you are not made of iron. And you can afford to ask people for help if you need it. Will they refuse? Well, okay! For the demand, no one has ever given anyone a forehead.
Trying to multitask
We all love to get loaded up with tasks and get them done right away. That’s right in one hour. And in the end, this is what happens:
You plant a tree, raise a son, stop a galloping horse, and you do all this, building a hut that is also BURNING!
This is what multitasking looks like. Do you need it? Engage in time planning and appreciate your rest, and do not try to sit with one ass on all the chairs in the room, and you will be happy.
“What will people say?”
Oh, what will the neighbor say if you go out to take out the garbage in a T-shirt with a mustard stain? Oh, won’t people laugh if you go out in bright makeup? Oh, what if classmates joke about my work at a meeting?
Oh, what if no one cares about anyone but themselves?
No, really. Moving to Kyiv taught me that everyone around really, deeply and from a high bell tower does not give a damn what some passer-by girl did there. And I want you to learn exactly the same attitude.
Literally, 90% of the people who meet you today will forget about you. Of course, your image will remain in their subconscious and, perhaps, someone will even dream of you, but they will not recognize you a second time. And the remaining 10% are your colleagues, friends, acquaintances, and relatives. Is it worth worrying about what that 90% who are not important to you in the same way that you are not important to them will think of you? I strongly doubt it.
Waiting for “one day”
How often do you think one of these thoughts?
And you wait and wait for that one day, but you do nothing all the time because the time is not right. But in reality, you are just sabotaging your success. Do not guess and do not wait for the weather by the sea, but start planning. Do you want to play sports? You look for a gym on the Internet, find out the prices, buy a uniform and go to work out. And so with all “once”.
You don’t have to wait for things to turn out well. Take it and do it!
Desire to live someone else’s life
Comparing yourself to others kills happiness completely because as soon as you start comparing your life with someone else’s, problems begin.
Unfortunately, for most unsuccessful people who have this habit, it did not just appear out of the blue. Remember how often your parents compared you to other children as a child? If you were often reproached by the son or daughter of your mother’s friend, then with a probability of 100% you have a habit of comparing yourself with others in everything.
You come out of childhood with this baggage from mom and dad, grandparents, or from any of your relatives, unpack it in your brand new adult life and off we go. And your lamp doesn’t light, and the calendars lie, but Nastya’s lamp is beautiful with gilding, and the calendars show everything at once and fill all the cases at once, and she herself is beautiful, and her children are geniuses, and her husband is handsome …
“And here you are, an imperfection! Look at you!” – prompts the inner voice and vzhuh! you want to live someone else’s life.
This question, if it is completely neglected, should be worked out with a psychologist, but you can also deal with it yourself. Just blacklist all such NUTS, do not follow their lives, and waste time not on self-flagellation and the thirst to live someone else’s life, but on planning your own success.
Do not engage in self-deprecation, because there will always be those people who will say that your achievements do not mean anything. Your task is to love yourself and your achievements, your daily contributions to success, because any contribution is important, even if it is tiny.
self doubt
If you doubt your abilities and because of this you refuse pleasant offers, girlfriend, it’s time to change urgently!
This also comes from childhood, for example, when other children or teachers offended you at school, or when your parents compared you with others, not in your favor. But there is a way out!
We say a big thank you to the idiots for the killed self-esteem, we go to a psychologist and work on the problem. And on our own every morning we say: “I am the best. I am a qualified professional. I deserve all the best.” Five minutes a day, and you will soon convince yourself of this.
And believe me: if you doubt yourself and your strengths, you definitely have them at 200%. Unskilled mediocrity never doubt their abilities, they do not have enough qualifications for this to understand the paradox of the psyche.
Blame instead of taking responsibility
Everyone is usually to blame for you, but you are not at all. Of course, there are some things we cannot control: a robbery, a fire, a storm, or economic crisis. But as soon as you turn eighteen, you should definitely learn:
“It’s you, the writer who writes his life.”
You may have grown up in bad conditions, you may have been offended in the past, but now you have great power in your hands – the power of knowledge gained from a bad experience. And with great power comes great responsibility. Therefore, take responsibility and control your life, write it the way you want.
Blame instead of taking responsibility
Everyone is usually to blame for you, but you are not at all. Of course, there are some things we cannot control: a robbery, a fire, a storm, or an economic crisis. But as soon as you turn eighteen, you should definitely learn:
“It’s you, the writer who writes his life.”
You may have grown up in bad conditions, you may have been offended in the past, but now you have great power in your hands – the power of knowledge gained from a bad experience. And with great power comes great responsibility. Therefore, take responsibility and control your life, write it the way you want.
Confidence in the impasse
My aunt once said that nothing can be done only when you are already dead. In other cases, you can get out, reduce harm, or even replay everything and get what you want.
Therefore, telling yourself something from the category “Oh, well, this is a dead-end, nothing can be done here”, “Oh, well, I’m already forty, where should I change my profession?”, you only do what you sabotage your success.
No need to focus on the “dead end”, just step back a little and look at the situation from a different angle. Nevertheless, the fire exit is usually located on the back of the building, and not in the same place as the main entrance.
You judge people
It is very easy to take and condemn a person on all counts, and then straighten his white coat and scratch about his business. Never think that you are better than other people and do not allow yourself to judge others, because, in the end, you may end up in their place. Will you be pleased if someone starts judging you in the same way? I doubt.
Spending money on things and only
Things won’t make you happier, more successful, or smarter, they’re just things. Therefore, try to get out of the consumer abyss from time to time (or better, as often as possible) and look for opportunities to spend money on experiences, knowledge, and health. This is called investing in yourself and it helps a lot to become more successful.
Even if you want to buy a dress like a girlfriend (or even better), think ten times and decide: do you really need this dress, or do you just want to feel your own superiority?
Procrastinate
Procrastination is the number one enemy of your success because instead of starting to sort things out, you start doing everything not to sort them out.
“Oops, I have to wash the dishes there, and then immediately get to work on the papers, yeah-yeah.”
And then, having procrastinated enough, you also start to eat yourself for not being productive enough. This problem is destroyed very simply, the author of the article tested both methods on herself.
Deadline method:
- STEP 1. Get yourself a scheduler. I usually use Microsoft To Do for all tasks, because it can be installed on a computer, and not just on a phone.
- STEP 2. Plan your tasks. I started different lists for different tasks: “Work”, “Life”, “Creativity”, “Plans for the year”. And for all tasks, I set deadlines – the dates when this should be done. No task without dates. The scheduler merges all the tasks by date in the “Planned” board, and I sit down and stupidly start doing everything. Sometimes I adjust deadlines.
- STEP 3. Enjoy the fruits of your labor. When there is not a single task to complete in the planner for the day, because I have closed everything, I feel incredible pleasure. Try it too.
Pomodoro method (adapted)
Have you heard of the Pomodoro Method? It was invented by Francesco Cirillo, and it’s just a fairy tale for those who do not sit well in one place and quickly lose concentration. The point is to concentrate deeply for a short time, and then take short breaks during which you relax.
I tweaked it a bit and it turned out great. Here is the sequence:
- STEP 1. You choose the time of concentration and the time of rest. I decided not to go far from the school system: 45 minutes – work on the problem, 10 minutes – a small rest and 20 minutes – a long one (every 3 tomatoes). It is convenient to do this in the Tide application: you drive in the necessary settings, put yourself relaxing music or sounds in the background, and start working, and the application itself will tell you when to rest.
- STEP 2. You work without extraneous tasks. Here is an example: you need to prepare a report on work. You set a timer for 45 minutes, sit down and start doing it, ignoring everything around you. No TV series, no correspondence with girlfriends. Only forty-five minutes of pure work. By the way, I am working on this article according to this principle.
Thinking but not doing
You spend whole hours in the halls of your mind, planning and contemplating plans to write a book that is sure to become a bestseller. You are rehearsing your speech in front of the mirror when you are being awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature. But you know what you don’t do?
You’re not writing a damn book that’s sure to be a bestseller!
And this can be applied to any case. If you think but don’t do it, it’s bad and sabotages your success. Start doing something now!
perfectionism
Sometimes it seems to me that perfectionism should be punished by law, as it turns people into fools who procrastinate on one thing until they do it to the ideal. And then they consider what they have done, find a flaw, and a circus begins with horses and alterations, tantrums, sadness.
Forget about achieving perfection. The ideal is unattainable! Dot.
Living in the past
- “Oh, but before, the hair was longer, and the grass was greener, and life was better.” Are you thinking about it right now? Throw those thoughts out and do your thing!
- “Here are the scoundrels, what they did to me in the past! Woo! I will never forgive anyone, I will think about their sins all day!” Do you think about it? Get out of your head and get busy!
Living in the past and in the past has never made anyone happier, especially if you start to scroll through your past jambs in your head. Everything! Leave the past alone, you can’t change it. If there are any consequences of your past jambs, then you will deal with them!
And if you really want to gnaw yourself – build a time machine, hit the road in the past, and give yourself a good kick, forbidding you to make mistakes. Can’t you? Well. Then keep on living.
You care about your health
Never, do you hear? Never give a damn about your health, especially your mental health. You may be surprised, but the psyche is an important component of our health, well-being, and success. If you can’t get out of bed for a week, because everything around you has become gray and bleak if mountains of garbage accumulate in the apartment, and you simply can’t do anything about it, this is not because you are a white-handed idler, but because that you have serious mental problems.
Visit doctors for disease prevention:
- Dentist – 1 time in six months.
- Gynecologist – once a year.
- Mammologist – once a year.
- Ophthalmologist – 1 time in 2 years.
- Dermatologist – once a year.
- Cardiologist – 1 time in 2 years.
- Psychologist – once a year.
Never give up on health!
I am sure that you will succeed, and I know for sure that now, knowing bad habits in person, you will certainly expel them from your life. Let not immediately, even in parts, but sooner or later they will leave you, and life will become much easier and more pleasant.
