Psychology, like the fashion industry, has its own trends. But if too bold a cut, in the worst case, can hurt someone’s delicate taste, then ambiguous psychological trends can cause serious harm to the psyche.
What is in fashion now and how to protect yourself from psychological must-haves? Elena Shershneva, a certified psychologist, a practicing consultant in the method of positive psychotherapy, a member of the World Association of Positive Psychotherapy, an author of articles, a master class leader, an author of the Marathon of Slenderness and the School of Happy Wives, reflects on this.
Positive Thinking
It would seem that a positive outlook on life can paint the world in bright colors. But taken to the extreme, it becomes rose-colored glasses. And in scientific terms – permanent rationalization. Rationalization is a psychological defense that helps a person cope with certain life circumstances, find advantages in them, justifying himself. “Sprayed a passing car? Finally, I’ll take my coat to the dry cleaner”, “Didn’t go to college? But I can do my favorite hobby”, “Drunk and lost my wallet with a salary? It’s good that the Universe took it with money, not health.” Dosed such protection really protects the psyche. But in large quantities, it distorts the picture of the world and removes basic responsibility.
But the biggest danger of positive thinking is suppressing feelings. After all, the most zealous optimist sometimes feels anger, sadness, and apathy … And this is normal. But followers of positive thinking tend to forbid themselves such “bad” feelings, suppress them, and drive them inside. As a result, he gets depression, neurosis, psychosomatic disorders …
Solution: live all your feelings, and look at things realistically.
The Psychology Of Success
Continuously moving towards the goal, not knowing rest and sleep is another trend of the present time. And even if you are a phlegmatic introvert, a gratuitous volunteer, or even a wandering monk, you simply must succeed! Moreover, success in this context means financial growth, career achievements, etc. But not everyone needs this to be happy.
Although, for some people, the psychology of success becomes a godsend. She really motivates and helps to get a good result. But it turns into “achievement”, which, as a rule, is followed by disappointment. After all, having thrown all his strength to receive a certain income or a coveted position, a person forgets about other areas of his life. As a result, he loses health, and relationships, and simply misses small, but so important, joys. And having reached the cherished goal, he understands that, unfortunately, she cannot compensate him for the missed life.
Exit: follow your true desires, maintain a balance: body-contacts-activity-spiritual meanings.
Time Management
Adepts of time management strive to be on time for everything. But the pace of life is constantly accelerating, and the body’s capabilities have a limit. When a racehorse exceeds the load limit, it drops dead. Unfortunately, some people treat themselves like a jockey treats a horse at the races: tough, consumerist, focusing only on the result.
Fuel is added to the fire by those around us who tirelessly do something, work efficiently, actively relax, grow personally, and even manage to document and post it all on social networks. I’ll tell you a secret: only a person with a manic disorder can fit into such a rigid rhythm. Therefore, those who manage to do everything either need qualified help or simply embellish reality.
Solution: listen to your body, treat it with care, and do not compare yourself with others.
Healthy Selfishness
Together with useful McDonald’s, cute rudeness, and other oxymorons, “healthy selfishness” simply masks an unsightly phenomenon. The most surprising thing is that self-love is considered to be the origin of “healthy egoism”. But egoism, as well as altruism, arises precisely from a lack of self-love! It is the lack of love that puts a person in a situation where he is forced to deprive someone: himself (in the case of altruism) or others (in the case of selfishness). When a person truly loves himself, he is filled. Filled with love, kindness, and resource. And happy to share it with others. And about egoism, even the most “healthy”, we are not talking here.