Most of us perceive the resumption of an active business life positively. Albeit with some restrictions, it is already possible to return to offices, to meetings, and to negotiations.
The process is overshadowed only by the realization that, along with all the pleasant processes, several “straining” things are returning. For example, the need to convey your thoughts to a large audience. And not through a webcam lens, but face to face.
Fear of public speaking is normal. Even if we are not talking about entering the stage of the “Olympic”. He can catch everyone before a report at a forum, before a client presentation, and even before a meeting with management.
What to do and how to help yourself in such a situation – says Kristina Kudryavtseva, a practicing psychologist, founder of the European School of Psychology, and author of the Psychoanalytic Business Coaching program.
Who controls whom?
Everyone gets nervous before public speaking. Even actors and stage performers experience fear when they step on the big stage every day of the year. This can be heard in dozens of interviews with domestic and foreign celebrities.
Of course, everyone is afraid in their own way. Someone just feels some discomfort, and someone from trembling in the knees cannot stand on their feet. But if after that he still goes and performs, then the situation is not so neglected. After all, a person understands what is happening to him. And accordingly, can control emotion.
Much more insidious is unconscious fear. With it, the knees will not tremble. Because the speaker simply will not get to his speech. Get sick. Leaves on an urgent business trip. Get stuck in an elevator. Mix up the time, date, and address. And all this he will not do on purpose. Unconscious fear is when you don’t feel such fear, but you unconsciously organize your life in such a way as to avoid public speaking. And in this case, it is fear that controls a person, and not vice versa.
But on the other hand
Conscious fear, like any other strong feeling, is energy. And the most correct solution is to convert this energy into an emotion that can be “issued” to the audience.
And we are not talking about how, in front of the board of directors, to play roles in the scene of the sobs of competitors. Emotion refers to the general presentation of the material, involvement, and persuasiveness of the speaker. Everyone can remember, for example, their studies at the institute. Where everyone went to couples on the most boring subject, but with an emotional teacher. Whereas the audience of the lecturer, who monotonously read even relatively good material, was always half empty.
That is, fear, if it is conscious, is not only normal, but in some cases, it is very useful for achieving the goal.
Return to childhood
To understand how to help yourself reduce anxiety before public speaking, you need to understand the psychological processes. And the following happens in a person’s head: his inner child seems to be left without the support of an adult.
This can be imagined as a baby on a dark night in a strange city. An adult in such a situation is unlikely to be confused. He will find a hotel, spend the night and go home in the morning. But the child is in this position for the first time, he does not know what to do. And he is very scared.
How can you help yourself with your fear of public speaking? Bring an adult into the situation. Let the inner adult address the inner child (best with a pet name, the name given to him by his parents as a child). For example: “Natalochka! You and I went through this many times. Now you are trembling and turning pale, but already in the middle of the performance you will go into a rage, and everything will go fine. And after that, we will generally be in a great mood. It has always been like this, it will be like this today! “.
The child’s psyche and, accordingly, the psyche of the inner child, do not have planning horizons. She lives here and now, not connecting events with each other. This connection should be given by the inner adult.
Body-Work
Fear is always tension in the body. It is impossible to be afraid in a relaxed state. Therefore, before a performance, it makes sense to focus on your body.
Some people find it helpful to mentally move from their head to their fingertips and back again. Some people are better off exercising. Someone is closer to various breathing techniques. It is enough for someone to listen to their favorite musical composition. There is no single recipe here. You need to find your own approach by trial and error and actively use it.
It is important not to overdo it, so as not to relax completely. Indeed, without a drop of fear, a person remains without a drop of energy, which was discussed above.
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“There are two kinds of speakers: those who are nervous and those who lie, ” said Mark Twain. His phrase, of course, is a little off-topic. But it also demonstrates that a century and a half ago, the fear of public speaking was quite normal. To control this fear and use it for your own good is something that can and should be learned.