While our readers were discussing how to behave if a partner came out, we continue to share expert materials on psychology.
This time we will talk about the fear of being left without money. Agree, now the topic is especially relevant, given the pandemic and quarantine
People tend to worry about health, family, prosperity … But sometimes the fear that the money will run out takes on a universal scale. What to do, how to stop worrying about money? Psychologist Alla Rozhkova tells .
We live in an unstable time when it is difficult to predict tomorrow. Someone knows how to adapt, and for someone, the prospect of being left without a livelihood is very frightening.
Of course, when there is a definite plan, moving forward is much easier. In the modern world, we try to plan a day, a week, a year, and even imagine ourselves in 10 and 20 years. But sometimes reality makes adjustments to plans and this significantly knocks you out of the usual rut.
Financial anxiety indicates that there is no self-confidence, and every transaction, every bill payment causes a feeling of anxiety and tension, and if you need to buy something for yourself, this also causes a feeling of guilt.
It also happens that the current job is tiring, and I want to change it, but there is a risk of leaving “nowhere”: “What will I do, suddenly it doesn’t work out, I lose my job here and it won’t work out there, but money is needed.” Therefore, a person holds on to work, for any, but just not to leave the comfort zone, not to lose what is.
Why is this happening? You need to “dig” in childhood. For example, it happens that in childhood there was no money in the family, only the most necessary things were bought, and parents denied themselves in many ways, just to give their children at least a minimum. It leaves a powerful imprint on a person. He begins to carefully control his accounts, he is afraid to allow himself to buy something because even a desired purchase causes fear … As a result, a person lives with anxiety, viscous, groundless, and unproductive.
What To Do, How To Overcome The Fear Of Lack Of Money?
Start counting the budget. But at the same time think about what additional sources of income can be. Take a piece of paper and write them down. Also, there should always be a plan A and B, C, and even D. You need to think through the worst-case scenario. For example, if I am left without income, what is the minimum income I can have to live, and where and how can I earn this money. There should not be hopelessness in the head, there should be a plan. Anything can happen in life, you can’t always be “on top”.
Understand that the financial situation is flexible. Yes, incomes can fall and this is quite normal. But how to act is in the first paragraph – plan A, B, C, etc. (you are already prepared).
Accept your limitations. Everything in the world cannot be controlled. There are many factors that can affect the global economic situation. “I can’t control everything, but I do have a plan for how to proceed” (again, see the first point).
Get out of your comfort zone. In order not to sit in a job that does not bring pleasure, you need to take risks, that is, get out of your comfort zone and at least give yourself a chance to try. But here remember that mistakes are also normal. Read the history of successful people and you will understand that they made a lot of mistakes.
Start budgeting. Make a plan of expenses for the week and paint on points. For example, necessary expenses (say, utility bills), planned expenses (you need to update your wardrobe), and leave an item for spontaneous expenses (spontaneously decided to go out with your husband on a date).
Challenge your anxieties. Record alarms and note the events that trigger them, then analyze and draw conclusions.
Set the alarm time. Yes, yes, in the truest sense of the word: “I will worry tomorrow from 12.00-13.00. During this period of time, I will think everything over, but after 13.00 there will be a familiar life without anxiety.” Even if at 15.00, for example, you made a purchase and it caused an alarm, stop yourself. The time for anxiety is different.
Review the budget and costs (see paragraph: start budgeting).
Check yourself for reality. There is a so-called cognitive distortion when you think that something terrible can happen. Therefore, always check yourself for reality: what are the percentages that this will happen to you, remember how many times you were worried and how many times this anxiety was confirmed. If scary images are drawn in your head, return yourself to the first point.
Understand your feelings. When you make another transaction, what do you experience: is it shame, fear, or guilt? Feel to trace cause-and-effect relationships.
See a few steps ahead. Get into the time machine. Do something now to reach your goal in the future.
Surround yourself with examples. Who do you like to watch, who broadcasts financial stability and thereby inspires? Enrich yourself with such an environment, and look for opportunities so that you have just such a circle of friends in order to be charged with this confidence in the future.
Slow down. Anxiety hits like a tsunami, so it’s important to say to yourself: “Stop, I won’t rush, I have time to sort everything out.”
Remind yourself of the things that make you happy. Sometimes you don’t need money to be happy. Yes, yes, there are many moments in life that make us happy and do not require costs. Fill your life. If it’s difficult and you need a master’s class, look at your child. Children rejoice in everything that surrounds them: sunset, dawn, that a bird flew in and sat on a bench nearby, that someone smiled in response, etc.
Remember that life is a movement, and also a series of events. You can not live a perfect life and always be “on top”. It’s okay to make mistakes, the main thing is to always have a plan A, I, C and, if necessary, also D.