Mistakes in the behavior of parents directly affect the formation of the personality of their child. What methods of upbringing should be categorically avoided so as not to grow up a sadist, and how to recognize the first alarming bells, Viktoria Lyubarevich-Torkhova, the chief psychologist of the STB project “Honey, we are killing children,” said:
“This is exactly the situation faced by the Velichko family, the heroes of the program “Honey, we are killing children” on the STB channel, ” says the psychologist. – The methods of education that mother Angela used (she beat her son with a belt with a heavy iron buckle, a wooden stick, insulted him, humiliated him) led to the fact that 9-year-old Isaac became a sadist. The child tortured and strangled animals, he had no friends among his peers, pictures with scenes of violence did not frighten him, but amused him. At some point, the neighbors began to fear the boy.
By the way, it is worth separating the concepts of “aggressive child” and “sadistic child”. Aggressive splashes out the accumulated emotions as a discharge, without the desire to kill someone. The sadist inflicts pain on purpose; the suffering of a defenseless living being gives pleasure to the sadist.
The reasons why a child becomes a sadist lie solely in the behavior of adults who regularly inflict physical cruelty and mental torture on him. It can be both parents (both or one of them), and other people from the environment of the child who are in his authority: friends, coach, older brother or one of the relatives. Even if this person does not see the child often, for example 2 hours a week, this is enough time to slowly turn him into a sadist. It is easier for an adult to resist moral pressure, he can afford to answer. In this regard, the child is limited in actions, therefore he breaks away at those who are weaker and cannot respond.
Symptoms to watch out for in your child’s behavior:
– mocks animals (tortures them, injures or kills), twists the heads of birds;
– tears off the heads of toys;
– draws pictures too zealously, purposefully breaking pencil leads or pushing felt-tip pens. The nature and color of the drawings in this case is not an indicator;
– tightly clenched jaws at the moment of committing a violent act, the body or face shakes from overexertion in the muscles.
To prevent the development of sadism, it is important to identify in time that someone is bullying the child. To do this, pay attention to his behavior and a number of symptoms. A very indicative symptom is when a child twitches if a nearby adult simply raises his hand. This is an automatic reflex of the body to unpredictable aggression, which indicates that the child is often beaten. But if physical violence is still possible to somehow identify, then only a specialist can recognize psychological violence; but it also leads to the development of sadistic inclinations.
Different in character and psycho type, children show cruelty in different ways. An introvert will go quiet, bullying animals or even other children on the sly, in a planned way. An extrovert does it out of spite, openly and publicly.
What to do if the child grows up as a sadist? Save! As long as he is around an unpredictably aggressive adult, his sadistic tendencies will become more and more dangerous. It is not always possible to “re-educate” an adult who inflicts physical or moral torture, especially if this is a parent who is confident in his innocence. If the threat comes from a coach or teacher, it is easier to transfer the child to another section or class.
It is important to understand that not all aggressive parents enjoy being cruel to their children. Therefore, if they ask for help in time to cope with their aggression, their child will also change, which means that family relations will become more harmonious.