I always admire women who skillfully combine a rich social life and family. They succeed in 100,500 cases and at the same time live in harmony, raise children, take care of themselves, develop themselves and go in for sports.
For me, such an example is Irina Adonina – an active resident of the metropolis, the mother of the weather – a boy and a girl, and now she is expecting her third child. And yet she is only 27 years old.
I wanted to talk to Irina personally, but the quarantine made its own adjustments, and we agreed to call her by phone. Honestly, when I was preparing for an interview and carefully studied her Instagram, I was worried that she would be pretentious in a conversation. But my slight excitement was shattered to smithereens from the very first minutes of our conversation. The cheerful, interesting, wise girl who has a lot to learn. An hour of our conversation flew by unnoticed, and I was inspired by her vitality and ability to organize everything around. I hasten to introduce you closer to Irina Adonina.
- Irina, you are a mother of two children and are now expecting a third. I suggest starting from the beginning. Tell us how it all started? How did you meet your husband?
My husband and I met on my initiative. It happened in Odessa, on the beach, when he was relaxing with a big company, for some reason I immediately liked him very much, and I wanted to get to know him. At first, he did not give any signs of attention, and perseverance and interest woke up in me doubly. 🙂
This is a note to all girls who are embarrassed to be the first to talk to men and worry about how they will look in the eyes of society.
If you see a man in the crowd that you like, then perhaps this is fate. And if not, then no – how will it go. Don’t worry about what anyone thinks. Maybe this is your happiness, which can be missed very easily, and then it can no longer be found.
- And then I kind of recognized myself. You don’t always have the courage to go first.
This situation happened to me for the first time, but the fear that they would leave, and I might never see him again, overcame me. And you see how everything turned out well for us.
To be honest, I also took him by surprise, because no one had met him like this before, but he was interested in this approach. Many women now have high expectations and high demands: for him to achieve, give “a million scarlet roses”, and take him to restaurants … If you have feelings for a man, then you should not be afraid to show them. This should not be done all the time, but it is necessary to at least show your interest. If this is mutual on his part, then he will feel the “green light” and also act.
- Tell us about your experience with three pregnancies. What should be feared and what not?
Pregnancy is not to be feared in principle. The main thing is to be ready for changes in your body, as well as prepare your family and relatives so that they understand that a woman in a position is different from her usual state. She becomes more vulnerable, vulnerable, and the caring attitude of those close to her is very important.
Expectant mothers should understand the value they bring to the family. Procreation is a responsible mission, and it is important to feel it in yourself, first of all.
It is equally important to remember that a woman during pregnancy does not just rest, she is sick or naughty – but that in 9 months a new person appears in the family, who also brings many changes and opportunities to this world. Also, do not forget that, unfortunately, not everyone can boast of such a luxury as the opportunity to become pregnant and give their family a child.
If a woman is in a position, then the family has hope for the future and development. Now in the world, there is little popularization of family values in this format, and many expectant mothers devalue themselves in this: she got better, some household issues, her back hurts – but can these little things be compared with the big mission that she carries with this?
- What education do you have?
I am an obstetrician-gynecologist by profession. She graduated from the Odessa National Medical University, completed her internship at the National Medical Postgraduate Academy named after Shupyk, and did her internship in Kyiv, at the 4th maternity hospital in Obolon. Now, still, in the status of a student at the National Academy of Public Administration under the President of Ukraine, I am getting second higher education.
- How does the knowledge gain help in life?
In fact, this is a very interesting profession that helps in expanding the horizons. After 6 years of university and 3 years of internship, you look at everything differently, you understand what kind of people living with serious illnesses, but at the same time, they rejoice, celebrate holidays, and take everything from life. And your problems seem generally insignificant. You realize that you are a happy person, that you need to live “here and now.”
Also, education helps to quickly identify good specialists and understand the appointments that they write out. I understand the diseases of children, I pay attention even to small nuances, I don’t panic, and don’t overthink.
- How important is it for women to take time to prepare for childbirth?
With all of the above, I am sure that gynecologists are the most terrible patients in principle. You ask a million additional questions to the doctor right away, and every specialist thinks that he is smarter than any other. Because there are pluses and minuses.
Firstly, medical knowledge is often confusing – you start to hang a bunch of diagnoses on yourself, because you understand that you have them in nature, and you become not a woman, but your own doctor. But when you are a doctor, it is one thing, and when you are a woman in labor, it is completely different.
As for preparing for childbirth, this must be done without fail. More psychologically and mechanically: how to breathe correctly, prepare for the postpartum period … But at the same time, do not load yourself with medical terms and scenarios for the passage of childbirth, because everything is individual. If a woman imagined one thing, but it turned out completely different, she may begin to panic, and lose self-control, which can have a bad effect on her very labor activity and obedience during childbirth.
Therefore, the expectant mother should feel and trust her doctor, listen to him and be able to relax and disconnect from information at the right time.
In the internship, we were asked about the first association with the word “birth”. Many answered: joy, happiness, prosperity. But we were explained that childbirth in the first place is work. We go there to work. And we talk about happiness already at the finish line, as at any stage of the final result. It is important for every woman to remember this – to work hard for some time, and after that – to receive a blissful happy state that cannot be compared with anything.
- How is the third pregnancy different from the first two? Does it run easier?
Every pregnancy is different, everyone is different. I can say this for sure – regardless of the gender of the child. I didn’t have toxicosis this time. I feel good. When the third pregnancy with a short period of time, then some things become normal for you. For example, low blood pressure and dizziness are already a part of my life and I don’t understand how to live without them. 🙂
But it is important not to feel sorry for yourself, to understand that pregnancy is not a diagnosis, but happiness and joy that is not given to all people. This is a state that lasts, unfortunately, very little. At first, it seems that 9 months is so much, but you give birth, the child grows, and you no longer remember those feelings, because life is completely different. These are small passages in a woman’s life, so you need to get the most out of what is happening, even in the daily chores of pregnancy.
- What advice would you give to yourself now, pregnant with your first child?
Do not get ahead of yourself, do not load yourself with household issues, shopping for the child, and … do not read a large amount of literature, because each baby is individual. Yes, books can complement the experience, but they will never replace maternal instinct, heart, and feeling.
It is equally important to address problems as they arise. And “do not cling” to what the girlfriends had – to abstract from this information.
I would also advise in advance, before giving birth, to look for a pediatrician who will suit you in terms of qualifications and temperament, support you on the path to breastfeeding and monitor the condition of the child. This person should be for you a trusted person with whom you can consult at any moment. It’s with the doctor. Our mothers and grandmothers were different.
- Girls who are preparing for pregnancy planning are afraid of toxicosis and well-being with its symptoms. Have you experienced toxicity? If yes, how did you deal with it? Did toxicosis manifest itself in the same way during three pregnancies?
During the first pregnancy, there was a strong toxicosis during the first three months. But this is a state that also needs to be experienced, not to burden yourself with activity, listen to the body, and relax as much as possible.
For many, toxicosis is beneficial – they do not overeat and do not gain extra pounds in weight. Yes, it’s hard, it seems that it will last forever, but it also passes quickly. Toxicosis is easily forgotten, like childbirth, in fact.
- Many women experience postpartum depression after having a baby. Are you familiar with this? How do recognize that it is postpartum depression?
Thank you for this question. I am very grateful for it, because in our time, many underestimate this problem, and they are also sure that “a woman is almost mad with fat.” There are many clichés: “Today all the conditions for childbirth have been created. If the family is full-fledged, then what is there to worry about?” But, in fact, this is a deeper question than we are used to looking at it.
Postpartum depression is a medical diagnosis, and it does not occur because a woman is suspicious. This is a hormonal psycho-emotional state that occurs in almost every woman who is in the postpartum state. In some it is more pronounced, in others it is less.
We live in the 21st century, and if before the social status of “mother and wife” completely made us a realized person, now everything is completely different. A woman after childbirth “should” quickly get in shape, take care of herself, run a business, and her social networks, prepare and organize her life, and plan trips. But even with assistants, it’s colossally difficult. It seems to a woman that lives in permanent baby diapers passes her by: here the child has colic, their teeth. Immediately there is a strong difference in the pace of life. That is why many women now develop postpartum depression.
Therefore, the issue of motherhood must be approached consciously. Set priorities for yourself, what is now for you a child in the foreground. And if you really want a manicure, then you need to understand in advance when and at what time your mother can be with the baby.
- Have you always dreamed of becoming a mother to many children?
I never thought that I would have many children. Before meeting with her husband, she dreamed of one, a maximum of two. But, having met our man and falling in love with him, we mutually wanted a family – there was a desire to give birth to not one child, but just a little later.
At first, it seemed to me that many children are very difficult, but when everything in the family is in harmony and love, then the children grow up with each other and our family is a single whole – one team and an indestructible fortress. We raise children so that they can rely on each other in this world, we instill family traditions so that they understand that they have family support not only in their parents but also in brother-sister relationships.
- In the third “stop” or want to give birth again?
Children are happy and to refuse this is stupid. I’m not saying that every year you need to give birth to a child. Now we are waiting for the third, and for now, we are stopping, and then – as God wills. You need to earn another baby in order to show that you can raise, you have the strength to do so. If I feel that I am ready and have this vital energy in me, then I will not deny myself such pleasure.
But I’m only 27 years old. Just because I never thought before that at this age I would have three children!
- You are a vivid example of an active resident of the metropolis. What whales keep your balance?
Firstly, my balance is based on love – for my family, home, and everything that surrounds me. I love my husband very much and feel like a beloved woman, which is very important to me. This is what inspires and gives strength to accomplish new victories, including over oneself.
Secondly, it is a sense of their value and needs in the family. When a woman feels this even in some household trifles, she is ready to move mountains. It largely depends on the man and his perception of the understanding of life.
Thirdly, it is important to be aware of the responsibility for the future of your children and your family, because this is a huge responsibility – you need to be a worthy example for them. Parents are the sculptors of their children’s childhood. This is very stimulating for children to be happy and smile.
Fourthly, it is happiness to be who I am today. Feel the blessing from above in the form of your children.
- Does a nanny help you with your children?
This question is very relevant now. Many are for, many are against, but I am definitely for finding a nanny. Sometimes it’s even better for a non-relative to help you with your children, because he can also dictate his own rules, and you can’t always answer him what you think. At certain times and days, an employee performs technical tasks.
If there is such an opportunity, then a woman should use it. A young mother should remain interesting for herself and everyone around her, sometimes get enough sleep (at least once a week) and put herself in order. Because when she feels like a well-packed horse, then there can be no talk of any value of herself in the family. A clear balance is needed between: “I am a mother”, “I am a woman”, and “I am a hostess”. I am at least a person who should have the right to rest. 🙂
- Whether they quickly found a nanny, for many is a difficult question.
This is a huge problem because you not only let a person into your comfort zone but also trust him with the most important thing – your child. Finding a good nanny is like finding a husband is very difficult.
Recommendations also cannot be trusted, because everyone is individual. Unfortunately, only trial and error works here. The working capacity of a person can be determined only at home and nothing else.
- They say that many families have a crisis after the birth of a child, and relationships deteriorate. How to find balance with your husband with the advent of a baby?
Before the birth of a child, a woman must clearly set priorities for herself. There is she, husband, children, parents, and friends. Believe me, it is no less difficult for your husband during this period than for you. He, too, is in an unusual state for himself, he needs you. After the birth of a child, the main thing is not to build a wall between you. Because a woman with a child, as a rule, moves away: “Darling, there are yesterday’s dumplings in the refrigerator – go warm it up.” A man at some point feels unnecessary and superfluous.
A woman, as a rule, is unhappy – he always does not help her. No matter how wonderful it is, there will always be a problem that needs to be urgently solved here and now. He goes to work, the woman believes that she does all the difficult things alone. Here you need to think more about your relationship with your husband – find time for joint dinners, and communication, be interested in his life and support him as much as possible.
- Whether they quickly found a nanny, for many is a difficult question.
This is a huge problem because you not only let a person into your comfort zone but also trust him with the most important thing – your child. Finding a good nanny is like finding a husband is very difficult.
Recommendations also cannot be trusted, because everyone is individual. Unfortunately, only trial and error works here. The working capacity of a person can be determined only at home and nothing else.
- They say that many families have a crisis after the birth of a child, and relationships deteriorate. How to find balance with your husband with the advent of a baby?
Before the birth of a child, a woman must clearly set priorities for herself. There is she, husband, children, parents, and friends. Believe me, it is no less difficult for your husband during this period than for you. He, too, is in an unusual state for himself, he needs you. After the birth of a child, the main thing is not to build a wall between you. Because a woman with a child, as a rule, moves away: “Darling, there are yesterday’s dumplings in the refrigerator – go warm it up.” A man at some point feels unnecessary and superfluous.
A woman, as a rule, is unhappy – he always does not help her. No matter how wonderful it is, there will always be a problem that needs to be urgently solved here and now. He goes to work, the woman believes that she does all the difficult things alone. Here you need to think more about your relationship with your husband – find time for joint dinners, and communication, be interested in his life and support him as much as possible.
You need to be happy that you have each other and understand that the difficult period will end and then you will need to go through life together. The question of the future relationship between a man and a woman – is only in the hands of a woman – will either unite or make you distant strangers.
- How do you distribute responsibilities in the family?
We have more unspoken responsibilities – men and women. For example, I take care of the house and children. My husband does a man’s job and will never tell me to hammer nails or screw anything. He spends a lot of time doing his main job, which gets tired, I have a lot of domestic issues – with children and social ones. We treat each other with understanding, if I see that my husband is tired, I will never burden him with additional tasks. He treats me the same way.
I respect him and I want him to have clean shirts, ironed trousers, and be well fed. Therefore, we do not have clearly serious distributions.
- Another important topic is nutrition during pregnancy and recovery after childbirth. How to eat during pregnancy? How do get in shape after childbirth?
Pregnancy is such a difficult period. We already limit ourselves to cosmetic procedures, household ones, the body hurts there, it pulls here. I am for eating right in principle: fish, vegetables, and side dishes. If I am in a position where I really want chocolate candy for the night, I will not deny myself this. Just the main thing is not to enter into the system.
You can sometimes pamper your body but do it wisely and in portions. Because when you keep yourself in “hedgehogs” – it’s very easy to break loose. But the measure is important.
- Are you making time for sports? If yes, how much and what kind?
I already have a whole protocol – a well-established system. After the first birth, I gained more than after the second. After the second birth, I wanted to quickly get back in shape. And I did it, in two weeks I was already at my pre-pregnancy weight. But it did not end in anything good, because she undermined her health. Honestly: I went too far with hellish massages and diets.
Therefore, after the birth of my third child, I will gradually come into both physical and moral forms. When the schedule is adjusted, you can connect sports (as prescribed by the doctor), and “play around” with food when breastfeeding is at a different level (after about the third month). No one, again, did not cancel walking long distances with a stroller. If there is an opportunity to go with the child to the park and take a good walk, then this, of course, is a plus.
Immediately after childbirth, I recommend that everyone wear a bandage, again, if there are no contraindications and the doctor allows. Do not forget about the correct water regime, a moderately active lifestyle, and manual massage (it should not be painful, otherwise lactation may stop).
Home care also plays an important role. If you take care of yourself during pregnancy, it is much easier to recover after childbirth. For example, these are scrubs, moisturizing, and tightening creams that keep the skin in good shape.
- I don’t have children and sometimes I don’t have time for anything, so I admire women who skillfully organize all processes. Tell us about your time management secrets. How is your day?
We had an imbalance when the second child was born because they could not immediately determine the schedule. But with children, a very big plus in the sense that they are systemic people, quickly getting used to the routine. Their biological clock works very clearly – at this time we sleep, and at this time we eat.
My success is that I can organize myself and the people around me, including the nanny. Without this, there will be nothing.
- You are in great shape and look great. How much time do you spend taking care of yourself? Tell us about your beauty rituals.
I, like any woman, try to take care of myself. There is nothing supernatural 🙂 For me, the water balance is important, as well as the minimum painless massage once a week.
No salon will ever help if a woman does not take care of herself at home. Plus – an active lifestyle, a systemic schedule and do not overeat at night.
- Plus, you founded the DA Present Producers project. How did the idea come about? Tell us more about it.
The idea of the project arose very organically. My partner and I have created dozens of gifts for our near and dear ones over the past years. After that, they began to turn to us for advice, and we realized that in our time it is very difficult to surprise a person and touch the strings of the soul, just by buying him something, but you always want to make a date or event really memorable and unique. And so our project DA Present Producers was born.
We create the most emotional, sincere and unforgettable and one-of-a-kind gift. We work individually, so each project for us is a unique little life!
There are no technically unrealizable ideas for us. Our agency works for people for whom it is important to evoke emotions in a loved one, reminding him of his uniqueness and showing all the depth and importance of the event is a gift created with our help! Having come to us, a person will always be heard, and the gift does not need a signature, since the recipient will not confuse the sender with anyone!
- Do you love to travel? How many countries have you traveled?
We mostly travel with my husband. Traveled over 20 countries. Often these are long-distance car trips.
- Are you traveling with children? What is it like to travel with small children?
We did not take children on work trips, because they were quite difficult in terms of moving and short-term – 2-3 days. For young children, it’s more stress than a pleasure being motion sick in a car, plus they don’t understand the sights yet. If it is possible to leave the child to a trusted person, then it is better to use this.
- Which country should you visit after quarantine?
This will not surprise anyone, but we want to go to Italy.
And every year we go to Odessa, where I come from. I love our country very much. For children, there can be nothing better than the sea! In Odessa – the best children’s vacation. Many have not yet fully understood the value of this city, but everything is ahead. 🙂
- What life principles do you instill in your children? Tell us about the methods of education.
The main thing is that children be happy and loved, as far as they can understand and feel it. It is important for me that they get in the family that sense of support with which they will go into adulthood. So that at 30 and at 40 they know that they are always welcome at home.
It is important that children feel that they will always be accepted, loved and right for their loved ones. This is a feeling that our parents instilled in us.
I would like my children to grow up decent and achieve success, take place as individuals, respect themselves first of all for their deeds, and be accepted into society on merit. We bring up responsibility for each other, honesty, and respect for ourselves and for the people around us.
- Are you spoiling your children?
Certainly! I thought that I would be a strict mother, but it turned out to be only in theory. When children appeared, I dissolve in them. I want their eyes to glow with happiness and they smile as often as possible. This is the best thing for a mother’s heart.
You can pamper emotionally and in moderation so that it is not a purchase of emotions. Of course, I want to indulge in some everyday issues, but I do it moderately because it is important for me that they feel value in the things that they have. This is very valuable in our time, when there are a lot of opportunities around, temptations, to feel the value of what you have. It seems to me that this is inculcated from childhood.
- What are you learning from your children?
This is also a great question! I got goosebumps when you asked him. I am learning from my children to live “here and now”, I understand that this or that moment will not happen again. They grow, change every day, and will not be so small anymore. It’s important to enjoy it.
I am learning to enjoy simple things, I remember my childhood emotions and I understand that thanks to children my soul remains a little childish, without a touch of the present time. Looking at them – I continue to believe in miracles!