the editorial office continues to publish the author’s columns. Today we introduce you to Nadezhda Grabovskaya.
Nadiya is a philologist by profession, a TV presenter by vocation, co-founder of the inspiring online project, and an expert in self-development, as well as a “psychologist and motivator”.
I believe that you do not need to look for yourself, you need to create yourself. And this is exactly what I suggest you do with me in the author’s column “Create yourself”. It’s about becoming a self-made lady, about inspiration, about self-development, about love for yourself and what you do.
Self-Development Not A Panacea, But It Is Better With It Than Without It
You live your beautiful life: you go to work, you have a hobby, you dream of a relationship or you are already guarding the family hearth. And everything is supposedly good, stable. But when you read articles, watch programs about interesting people and advertise their brands, and pay attention to the number of audiences of your favorite blogger on Instagram, YouTube, or Tik Tok, thoughts start to pop up in your head, like, “Why are they so successful?”, “Where did such popularity come from?”, “What have they ever done?”. Some will say that they were helped, they were born that way, and my answer is this: once they chose development instead of a constant routine (or in addition to it), and did not stop there.
Who Am I?
Personally, it is very important for me to know who I am and what makes me unique. This knowledge is not about vanity, selfishness, or an unloved child. If you understand that your highlight is the ability to cook the best-scrambled eggs (and you think not only you) or at a glance to distinguish the original Dior handbag from, as it is fashionable to say now, its replicas, then is it about your redundancy or boasting? Not at all. These skills can be the basis for your self-development.
Advice. Put yourself into words.
Thoughtfully asked me the question “Who am I and what can I do?”. Write the answers on a piece of paper or in notes on the phone, such as an accountant, mom, I know English, I’m interested in fashion, I know how to dress tastefully.
Brainstorm Their “Want”
Remember yourself as a small child. What did this girl dream of then? Maybe she wanted to sew dresses for Barbie or be a teacher in the future? All our childhood desires, fulfilled or not, affect us as adults. Do not forget about your current “want”. Sometimes they become the main drivers of our self-development.
Advice. Write “I WANT” in the middle of the sheet and mark your wishes around it on the whole sheet, which would help you decide on the field for self-development. For example, “I WANT” – to learn French, learn to sew clothes for myself, attend fashion shows and run a blog in which I will share experiences and skills, or give lessons.
What’s Next?
And now you have a great picture of what you are interested in doing and what you would do for free because this business really inspires you. It is very important at this stage to clearly define the goal of self-development, set priorities, and determine their financial capabilities accordingly. Sometimes it is the last component that can interfere with learning something new and so desirable. But if you still can’t afford expensive “tailoring and sewing” courses from a leading dressmaker, that doesn’t mean you have to give up. There are many other tools for self-development: free or affordable workshops, workshops, training, online lessons and videos on social networks, and books in magazines after all. The main thing is to start with something! You know that appetite comes during the meal, and with it come opportunities.
Advice. Find different sources for information, look for “your” motivators, experiment with tools of self-development, analyze the knowledge gained, and put everything into practice.
And If It Doesn’t Work Out?
Nothing works for someone who does nothing. But if you still understand that you did your best and the result is not visible, there may be three reasons:
- Did not clearly define the goal
- The too unrealistic result, as a start, you want
- Not the tools I chose.
Advice. Go back to the very beginning – the stage of determining what you really want and what you need to do for it. Hard, yes. But only in this way you will understand where the failed steps were, and where you would need to make more effort, or just believe in yourself!
The Finish Is A New Start
And here you are holding your diploma or certificate of new knowledge and competencies. There is no limit to joy and pride. But this is the finish only for this stage, and then you have to move to another level of skills and abilities. Self-development is not a one-time action, it is a constant work on oneself.
If you are tired and this process is so exhausting that there is no pleasure and inspiration, it is better to stop and rest. Understand what you need right now and whether you are running in the right direction.
Advice. Don’t stop there if you’re really excited about self-development. Let failures stimulate and give new experiences, and victories inspire the discovery of new talents and the embodiment of their “want”.
A Moment Of Motivation From The Author
We are inspired by the things that keep us in balance: giving and taking. A course for self-development can be held only if you are ready to take what is necessary for you, and at the same time give part of yourself: time, finances, and even knowledge (if you decide then to earn more from the experience – lessons, workshops, your blog).
Self-development is such an interesting process that you never know what new horizons it can open to you and what mechanisms it can give to realize your dreams.